Another tool in my Transitions Tool Kit is asking for help. At times I have felt that I ought to be the Lone Ranger when I’m covering new territory. “I don’t want to bother anyone else, the phone weighs 1000 lbs., and I should just tough it out and handle things myself,” I tell myself gamely. This rarely works for me. I wind up feeling lost and lonely. I have discovered that although scary and potentially embarrassing, asking for help is always my best bet. This has proven true time and again.
Several months ago I felt stuck in my life. I was doing the same things, over and over again, and expecting a different outcome; the definition for insanity. I didn’t see a way out. I was getting tired of hearing myself complain about financial insecurity, and I’m certain those around me were thinking, “There she goes again!” I didn’t know who to turn to or even what to ask for, but I knew things weren’t changing. I was definitely adrift in the Neutral Zone, not seeing my next New Beginning.
Things started to shift when I reached out for help. I went to a CPA friend for a free consultation, I spoke to my tax preparer, and I paid an accountant for an hour of her time. I also attended a day-long retreat on rejuvenation and asked for help there, and I bartered with a business coach for direction and guidance. One day an email arrived in my inbox announcing a job at a local group practice. It seemed tailor made. I immediately sent in my resume and cover letter and got a call for a phone screening, which led to several interviews and resulted in being hired by this new firm. All in a matter of weeks I had landed a better paying job just ten minutes from my home. Things were looking up!
I am a believer in the concept of synchronicity. Jung’s theory stated that “events are meaningful coincidences if they occur with no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully connected.” (Tarnas, Richard, 2006. Cosmos and Psyche. New York: Penguin Group. p. 50.) This is another way of saying that seemingly unrelated incidents can present themselves, and when we notice them they can illuminate a new path to take. This is exactly what happened when I made the first phone call reaching out for help. And then a chain reaction seemed to occur, leading me from a stuck place to a new beginning.
What makes reaching out so hard to do? I think it’s a function of my overactive pride and ego. If I can just get over myself and get humble and admit that I don’t have all the answers, amazing things come to be. Brene Brown speaks of the importance of vulnerability. I am quite certain that the more I can make myself open to receiving assistance, the more it is apt to manifest. And the less lost and lonely I feel. Has anyone had a similar experience? I’d love to hear about it. Leave your comments and contact information below and we’ll talk!