So this last week I had a set back on my Transition Path. These happen. I got in touch with some fear that I may have made a wrong decision. FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real… When I’m lost in fear I can’t see clearly. I get consumed with “what if’s” and I ruminate about how things are surely going to go awry. I’m definitely not in the present moment, which is usually an okay moment. Cognitive distortions, like “catastrophizing”, “all or nothing thinking” and “shoulding on myself”, cloud my vision and my thought process. Not helpful.
Fear can turn quickly into depression, when I start to feel hopeless and can’t see a way out of my current dilemma. A few things happened to bring me to this juncture: I asked for help and was turned down several times last week. I also found that things were not working out as I had planned or expected with a new venture. I had to call myself back from the brink of pushing the panic button. Whoa! What about practicing some of my transition tools? What happened to gratitude, letting go and acceptance? I had to remember that “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need,” to quote a Rolling Stones’ song. I needed to believe that “this too shall pass.”
Here’s what happened: after several days of sitting in my slump, I made myself reach out and share how I was feeling, honestly and transparently. I tried not to worry about looking good or all recovered. Even after celebrating 31 years of continuous sobriety today, I can’t expect myself to have it all together all the time. That’s just not realistic. I also realized that even though I asked for help there were no guarantees that I’d get it. It wasn’t the end of the world. And then I had a brainstorm: nothing in my circumstances is irreversible. I can give my new situation some time and then make a decision several months from now to reverse direction or choose a different path. I don’t have to play into the victim role these days.
Now, several days later, I’m in an entirely different place in my journey. I am hopeful again. Next week I’ll begin to write about hope, faith and courage, three more principles of recovery. If you like what you’re reading, you can sign up now to get on my mailing list and receive these weekly posts directly in your email inbox. Just enter your email address and press “Subscribe”. Please also feel free to pass these posts on to others you feel might benefit. I am writing with a female audience in mind, but I have heard some men say they’ve gotten something out of my posts. I’m all for that!